In my previous blog I talked about releasing emotional pain, and how doing this frees you up to create a happier future for yourself.
Once you have worked though the process of letting go of emotional pain, a time will come where you may feel ready to also forgive. You will know when you are ready to forgive, as this is something that has to come from you at a time that you are truly ready and willing to grant forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the last part of releasing pain. While often this seems like an insurmountable task, something that you may not be able to envisage how you would ever be able to let go and forgive, you may find that after having released your emotional pain, the forgiveness comes easier than you thought it would.
Yes, it is true that many of us might find it hard to forgive, yet it comes as a true blessing. Forgiving allows letting go of pain, as well as letting go of anger and hate. As a matter of fact, forgiving is more a benefit to you, than it is to the person or situation you are forgiving. Forgiving does not always need to take place in person, it is something that can also be done silently within your own heart.
Important to remember also is that forgiving is not about accepting a behaviour, an action, a situation, or a person. Instead it is simply letting go. It may not give you the understanding of why something happened to you, or why someone may have caused you pain. Let go of the need to understand, as the understanding may not be your to understand. Just allow yourself to forgive.
When you forgive you allow the pain to go away and it provides you with an opportunity to become stronger within yourself. You are the one in control of your forgiveness, no-one else. If you think about it, you may realise that holding onto hurt and anger about a situation or a person has been a long and hard effort. It takes energy and time to be hurt, upset and angry. Time at could be spent, instead on all those thing you enjoy in life and that make you happy, so that you lead a more fulfilling life. For instance, how much time do you spend dwelling on, pondering or discussing something bad that has happened in your life, rather than being able to freely enjoy the company of a good friend, building new happy memories while laughing and joking together. Therefore, there is no point in drawing out the process of dwelling on hurt and anger any longer – your new life starts now!
At times the memories of that person or event may still hurt. The memories will not go away, because the past can not be changed, however they will not hurt again like they once did. And once you have forgiven, then should these memories come again in the future, it will be even easier to let go of them and to move forward with your life. You are in control of making a positive change to your future by accepting your past and letting go.
There are two different ways in which you can forgive:
Firstly, you can tell someone in person that you forgive then, and then accept this person for who they are not, at that given point in time.
Secondly, you can forgive someone within your heart. To do this visualise that the person is in front of you. Tell this person how you fell. Tell them that you can’t and don’t want to understand why (because that is for this individual to work out). Even though you do not accept the act or the situation that you have forgiven them from your heart.
If you feel strong enough, you may then also want to send that person a prayer of love, light and forgiveness.
Remember forgiveness is about moving on with your own life. It is simply letting go of pain, and no longer carrying it with you in your daily life.